This movie reminds me a lot of The Day After Tomorrow — tons of cataclysmic, end-of-the-world explosions and awesomeness. Or at least that’s what I thought that Day After Tomorrow was going to be. And for about 15 minutes, it was. I spent the rest of it wanting to bang my head against the wall to make the nonsense stop because things like people outrunning the cold were happening.

So I realize this might be like that proverb about a dog returning to its own vomit when I say this, but … I’m pretty psyched about 2012. It looks like it’s got some great special effects. Sure there’s a minimal plot about building an ark, but as long as stuff keeps getting destroyed in awesome ways, I’ll be happy.

Here’s hoping for better end of times this go-around.

Everyone probably played Moonwalker, but do you remember the time Michael Jackson was in Space Channel 5? He played—wait for it—Space Michael. Um, yeah.

The film adaptation of The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger’s bloated, meandering, chick-lit dram-fest, is finally hitting the big screen later this summer. It looks like a sci-fi-lite version of The Notebook, and not just because of the inclusion of Rachel McAdams.

Although it’s not in the trailer, I wonder if they kept the scene where the 13-year-old version of the time-traveling main character has sex with himself. Yeah, probably not.

Bionic Commando is good when …

• you’re swinging around like a metal Tarzan.
• you pick up a new weapon or “recall” a new skill and the game challenges you to kill a bunch of dudes with it.
• you’re racking up achievements based on those challenges like every five minutes.

Bionic Commando is very, very bad when …

• you swing your metal Tarzan into an area your not supposed to and he dies pretty much instantly from radiation poisoning.
• your metal Tarzan is resurrected like way back, before that ridiculous swinging sequence, before that battle against those three biomechs, before you gathered those three collectables and BEFORE you completed that pretty tough challenge.

I wouldn’t pay money for Bionic Commando* in any case, but it would have been a pretty decent third-person swinger/shooter if not for too-frequent deaths and too-infrequent checkpoints. Someone with less patience and a weaker collection compulsion would have snapped the disc in half and mailed the shards back to Capcom by the middle of the second chapter. Save yourself the apoplexy and play BC: Rearmed 1 vs. 100 instead.

*Thanks to Gig pal Tony for lending it to me.

So with the new $25 Wii Motion Plus add-on, a complete Wii controller basically costs $85. Ouch.

In case anyone else is confused: James Cameron’s Avatar has nothing to do with airbending.

Sony is kicking things off with a bunch of video trailers showing lots of explosions! It’s already more captivating than Nintendo’s conference.

364 games for Playstation family this year. Someone should try to play one game every day! 100 new PS2 games coming. All licensed crap, I’m sure.

Uncharted 2: Multiplayer beta launches tonight. Damn this game looks pretty. I wish Amy Hennig were presenting it. And wish it were a new Soul Reaver. But this is seriously impressive!

MAG: 1 vs. 256. Bigger doesn’t necessarily look better. Lots of icons on the screen. The HUD is kind of a mess.

The crowd mocks the lilac Hannah Montana PSP. I laugh.

Continue reading E3 Reactions: Sony

Live from the epicenter of E3 (my living room in Harlem), here are Nintendo E3 reactions! I’m going to try to do this while on a conference call news meeting with a bunch of old people in DC.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii: Four players simultaneously in 2D sidescroller. Looks fun, wonder how much it will focus on platforming with so many people hopping about.

Wii Fit Plus: Fifteen new balance games, out this fall. About as exciting as a new Bowflex.

Wii Sports Resort: Mii skydiving, archery, basketball with laser precision Wii Motion Plus. If only it had a laser game.

Tiger Woods, Red Steel 2: Seen it all before.

Alright, this is less interesting than the sandwich I’m about to make. I’ll weigh in if things get good.

Continue reading E3 Reactions: Nintendo

Isn’t Steve Wiebe’s quest for the Donkey Kong world record starting to get a little sad? Watch him probably fail live today on G4 and streaming online.

Who wants to be a Microsoft points millionaire? Microsoft launched the beta of 1 vs. 100 on Monday, and although you can’t win any prizes just yet, you can get a feel for what Xbox Primetime will offer. Based on the short-lived NBC game show hosted by Bob Saget, 1 vs. 100 is an Avatar-based online trivia game that is surprisingly addictive.

Monday’s launch games offered up-to-the-minute questions touching everything from Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show debut to announcements from today’s E3. With the promise of winnings such as Microsoft points and XBL games, 1 vs. 100 seems like a great way to kill some time and possibly win stuff. Check out the next airing Saturday at 8 p.m. or tune in for special E3 trivia at 10 and 10:30.